Saturday, July 16, 2016


 Käthe Kollwitz, "Frau mit totem Kind" (1903)

I watch
as sunlight makes its way
across a room
devoid of color, 
coffee this morning
for one instead of two
walk in our garden
gaze at flowers 
I promised to tend 
a thousand times
perform mundane tasks
one learns after 
years of togetherness
if only it mattered


  1. one learns after
    years of togetherness
    if only it mattered

    There is that feeling of despondence when one is alone suddenly. Most will get over it in time though a few will take longer than others. Very true Helen!


  2. So heart wrenching, Helen...perfectly captured emotion and imagery.

  3. I'm feeling not only sad but stunned. These are words I expect to feel the impact of at some point...and I've truly never had the words until now. We can't waste today by worrying about tomorrow but you've awakened some raw and unwanted feelings. No matter---truthful art. You've touched my soul.

    Jane x

  4. I enjoyed reading this, Helen. Just tonight I was estimating my age when our youngest granddaughter might get married. Odds are I won't be there (though on-line life expectancy has me living to age 99).
    Life goes on, make it count. Death of a spouse/long time close companion or a divorce or permanent separation tears one up if the relationship was good to the survivor. I did the divorce thing, it was hard even though really I'd had about all I could bear. I rented a cheap apartment, got an unlisted phone, and holed up. Except for work, like tending the flowers and paying bills. My bowling buddies were my support group as I see it now.

  5. Oh, Helen! This broke my heart.

  6. Oh so sad. Agree with MZ--the down-to-earthness of it makes it even sadder. Well done. Thanks, Helen. k.

  7. Dearest Helen,
    Yes, that is raw pain of LOSS.
    It becomes for quite a while very raw when indeed a table set needs one less of everything... No reply, no breath, no warmth, no hand...
    Nothing to share, only inward.
    Sending hugs to you,

  8. There is a sadness and loss in this that it palpable to me. learning to live alone.

    while i was in Nepal, i was in many ways alone. i had 2 people that i knew could speak english enough to hold a true conversation...other than them it was people that at best spoke 40% english and understood small it was a lot of the time i was talking to myself and god...

    but a lot of aloneness...just different...smiles.

  9. Whew... fills my heart with emotion, for sure.

  10. Oh, this tugs on my heart strings. So sad, but so artfully written.