Thursday, May 27, 2010

Splay Is Such An Ugly Word



I was an addict
surrounded by shoes 
high heels and sharp toes
[ in hundreds of hues ]


until that dark day
I learned my true fate 
came to discover
 [a word I would hate ]



my doctor explained it 
my feet ~~ they would 'splay'
splay? I was puzzled 
[ could I keep it at bay? ]



no way to stop it 
damage was done
now it's loafers and flip-flops 
 [ my 
splayed feet have won ]




61 comments:

  1. Oh you poor thing, giving up all those fun shoes. Yes, we do learn certain facts are immutable. Loved this.

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  2. At fifty years old, and after years of wearing fancy shoes, I'm sure "splaying" is in my future. Your poem will haunt me fore AGES, I'm sure!!! Here's to our feet! :)

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  3. The poem's well written and amusing. I enjoyed it - but the matter is not a laughing one for you, I am sure. Heart-felt commiserations.

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  4. I agree! Flats feel so much better though. I don't know how i use to walk, run, dance in 4inch heels.

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  5. Oh yes, take care of those feet; they can really hurt when they've been abused by high heels and pointy toes......
    Good poem!!

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  6. I've never heard of this, does it hurt? well,thank goodness there are cute flip flops!

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  7. splay - rhymes with play though :)

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  8. I am so sorry.
    But I love flip -flops and you will too.I hope.

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  9. I do love flip flops and they come in all different colors and even have sequins...they can go anywhere! Here's to happy feet.

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  10. I wear tennis shoes and flip flops too - all those beautiful shoes out there- what a shame. sandie

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  11. I keep my pointy toed, spike heels just in case, just in case... :) Nicely written!

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  12. Oh, yes! Been there; done that, but I don't have the tee shirt. My feet are kept off the floor these days in flip-flops. My feet didn't suffer any ill effects from the spikes and winkle-pickers, but I think my back did!!

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  13. Loving the blog


    tc

    www.frontrowmode.blogspot.com

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  14. Oh, that's lovely! Very witty and funny. It just flows so beautifully!


    and thanks for the first magpie comment! It was greatly appreciated!

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  15. Helen

    So you have been splayed -- and regulated to flip flops -- yikes -- how about wellingtons and birkenstocks? -- I heard they come in an assortment of colors even some with hot pink polka dots these days.

    A fun and amusing piece -- our feet are important though -- and a good pair of walking shoes makes all the difference in how we feel at the end of the day!

    Good magpie
    Joanny

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  16. A funny poem, and flip flops aren't too bad, they come in lots of colours and styles.

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  17. What an interesting post! I'm glad to have found you, too. Bend is a beautiful area--We've traveled there many times. There's something about the feel of the high desert, with its fragrant juniper and craggy hills, which is entrancing.

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  18. Fun poem! I mostly wear flats too, but have a few short heels for special occasions. Having wide feet myself, I found the Tiva brand quite fitting and comfortable (and they have nice flip-flops too).

    Great Magpie!

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  19. You CAN wear high heels, but only when your feet are not on the ground. hee hee

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  20. Happy Memorial Weekend my friend…Hugs and Smiles Gl♥ria

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  21. I look, with envy, at the sweet young things, scurrying about town, in their sexy stilettos and think, "Hey, girl, when you're 65, like me, I'll bet you are in your comfotable Easy Spirits." I finally gave my last pair of fantasy pumps to Goodwill last year - it was hell bidding them farewell.

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  22. Oh, Helen, what a clever and amusing poem!

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  23. Doctors HATE high heels and narrow pointed shoes.

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  24. Your poem is an inspiration to me. I have loved shoes, but they have not loved me back. I have bunions and plantar fasciitis. I would like to officially and gladly splay with you.

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  25. ha! I know that splay word! I've had to get special insoles to remedy the failure of my feet. Who'd have though splayed feet could be poetic?

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  26. Dear Helen: Wow great poem! Very orginal and fun! Interesting; I thought one could be "splayed out on a table" but never knew feet could do this as well. I love how I am learning new things. I love how your style is impeccable! Very perky poem!

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  27. This is lovely. I prefer the flat shoes, and never wear heels. Sorry for your dang splayed feet. At least they hold you up! :)

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  28. Loved the poem, but so sorry for your feet! I don't even own heels anymore. It's mostly tennis shoes and flat sandals.

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  29. oh but flip flops are such friends....hope the splaying did not come with too much hurting. nice magpie.

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  30. Splay does sound as if it can't be repaired..the price we pay for beauty! I just love flats..keep saying that!!
    And Brian..for some strange reason I seem to be following you!

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  31. Oh, me, too. I have a whole closet wall of cute shoes I never wear anymore. Comfy old suede mules are my shoes of choice.

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  32. Shirley Landis Van Scoyk is spot on. The only time you should wear heels is when you are off your feet!
    Mmm... maybe not in bed!

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  33. Helen, wonderful poem!
    well written
    poor tootsies

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  34. nice play with the shoes..
    beautiful tale!

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  35. Fantastic and light and yet the shoe lover in me is sad. Nicely done!

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  36. Have never managed 3 inch heels, only lower ones. Now I like to wear flats and flip flops and walk in style!

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  37. Ah yes I live in flip flops myself. Made me smile this did. Very clever!

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  38. Hi Helen ~~ Sorry about the splay, either yours or that of the poet here. Mrs. Jim is recovering from bunion surgery on her right foot with added surgery to shorten her second toe. Hers is part hereditory and part high heeled shoe induced.

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  39. Sorry about writer's block. I read someplace there is no such thing, just write for better or worse and the good will survive.

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  40. A.. Hope you find relief in silver slippers and wonderful flip-flops

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    Replies
    1. There are good shoes that are just as nice actually

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  41. my mom's had 7 foot surgeries. no fun. got a bit of a shock when I say Dave King's name next to a comment... then realized you've gone to the archives :) ~

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  42. Oh I can so feel you. I love shoes... don't have THAT many, but High Heels are just so pretty. I am sorry you don't get to wear them anymore. A great poem!

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  43. Helen, this is great! My sister ruined her feet wearing high wobbly heels through her thirties, into her forties. Now she's stuck with her orthodics. Her "ugly shoes" she calls them. This poem is perfect for her!

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  44. I've won Ugly Foot contests, 2nd and 3rd toes webbed. The left foot was run over by a car. Next the the car stopped on top of it, now the middles are raised. The second toes rest on top of the big toes.
    Aging Moms; We had to kidnap my MIL. Mrs. Jim took her riding while her other SIL and I moved her furniture to a Houston area apartment. When she was ready to go back home in Louisiana Mrs. Jim said to her, "Mother, you can't go home , the boys have moved all your furniture here."
    Her story before was short, "Why should I leave a nice 'paid for' house?"
    ..

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  45. Flats and trainers for me now. Much more comfy, I say. Happy weekend.

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  46. Age will do that to all of us eventually! Great poem, Helen.

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  47. Witty poem, Helen, we're all looking for that shoe that fits....JIM

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  48. I think what you call flip flops we call thongs.I know thong has a different meaning in your neck of the woods...a different down side to wearing them as well I suppose :)....Rall

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  49. I don't know why to this day, but suddenly in my forties I decided to stop wearing high heels. It wasn't that they were uncomfortable or anything. Perhaps just an out-of-the-blue decision to be intelligent about my feet for the sake of the future. Anyway, I have been wearing flats ever since, or at best very low heels for nights out – and in the last couple of decades it's been nothing but really good walking shoes in the cooler months and thongs (what you call flip-flops) in the height of summer. My feet were aways broad, so the prospect of splaying didn't frighten me, but nowadays my feet swell with lymphedema in hot weather and the thongs are the only things I can wear on them.

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  50. "Splay" will never seem the same again after your poem!! And flip-flops are super cool..so here's to them!

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  51. Ha ha! Oh, Helen! You always put a smile on my face! What a comically apt title and a wonderful way to exploit this word you dislike! Totally cracked me up :-D :-D I also had a shoe addiction for a while and it's flats for me too now! (Well, I like a chunky flat if I'm honest...) x

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  52. Helen, I think you should commission a series of photos of your shoe collection on your feet and have them framed on your walls as the opposite to a memento morii - a memory of life and the shoes it was lived in! Most entertaining...

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  53. I never have understood why anyone would prefer the hog-trotter silhouette to the look of a human foot. To some tastes, like mine, your feet may be looking better every day! Very nice, natural, unstrained rhymes.

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  54. Thank goodness gardener's boots have always kept my feet happy Loved your tribute to high heels, though. ♥

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  55. I've long puzzled as to why the ladies totter about in such high heels. Love the verses, though.

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  56. Am sorry to hear that. Even I have medical issues with my feet. Get well soon.

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  57. I live in flip flops basically all year round.😬

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  58. Feet issues can be quite painful. Care must be taken, however, so keep the memories of the heels, and maybe one old pair.

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I appreciate each of you and the comments you leave ~~ thanks so much.