Grace is hosting Meeting the Bar in the dVerse Poets pub ~ today the focus is on Mirrored Poetry
unstoppable twosome
steady on the trail
we were a force
a fairy tale
one two three, one two three
i wore a veil
we were a force
a fairy tale
missteps and stumbles
veering off-course
We were a fairy tale
we were a force
reflecting years later
how did we fail
we were a force
a fairy tale
A sad ending but I love your refraining lines Helen - short & precise. This part said it all:
ReplyDeletehow did we fail
we were a force
a fairy tale
This is beautifully poignant, Helen! ❤️
ReplyDeleteSo sweet and then so sad at the end. :(
ReplyDeleteYes, I wasn't expecting the sad end either!
ReplyDeleteThat ending… It’s very sad and solemn. You never know what can happen with love in time. It either thrives or fails but in the moment, we can’t foresee it. Very beautiful and poignant. ❤️
ReplyDeleteUnrequited love.....a relationship that dimmed....this is beautifully writ with so few words. I can feel the emotion in in.
ReplyDeleteSo stirring! Sometimes fairy tales burn themselves out with that passion. The form works so well here! 🌹
ReplyDeleteThe short lines worked well with the form and the narrative was clear. Nicely done, Helen!
ReplyDeleteLove the close Helen. You beautifully and smoothly brought the poem to logical conclusion!
ReplyDeleteHank
"We were a force a fairy tale" sometimes fairy tales don't end so well but, they are magical for a spell.
ReplyDeleteI almost didn't want to read through it, because I could see where it was going. A lovely write, not least for its conciseness.
ReplyDeletegot me smiling from the first word and then the last stanza turn. wow. that was unexpected. so so good.
ReplyDeleteThe repetition of "a fairy tale" works very well, especially in the conclusion.
ReplyDeleteSo much said, in short sentences. Sadly fairy tales come to an end.
ReplyDeleteAww. Splendid!
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant, so concise and powerful.
ReplyDeleteI love your beautifully sad tale!
ReplyDelete'How did we fail?' - wasn't expecting that!
ReplyDeleteThis is BRILLIANT! Standing ovation from Indiana!
ReplyDeleteClapping! The refrain is so lovely, and the photo is amazing.
ReplyDeleteThe rhythm does wonders to illustrate the topic. Relationships feel like a dance, don't they? And sometimes, even the best dancers can step on each other's toes.
ReplyDeleteA sad ending. Nicely done.
ReplyDelete