hands stuffed deep in
the pockets of her
designer wedding gown
reluctant bride ...
this is our Rose
with downcast eyes
a slow shuffle
face without color
sans smile on her face ...
the message is clear
you are not the one
the man that i adore
[the original]
body language speaks volumes
nobody’s pushover, she
knows how to strut her stuff
eyelids smudged with kohl
gold dust sprinkled in cleavage hollow
raspberry glossed lips
hands stuffed in those pockets, just so
the message quite clear
"come and get me if you dare"
Time to belly up to the dVerse Poets Pub Bar ~ for Meeting the Bar! Laura presents us with a unique challenge ~ write a palinode. A poem that contradicts or retracts something we have previously written ~ with a negative / or opposite connotation. Challenging? You betcha?
A message delivered in a glance.
ReplyDeleteSecond verse is his emagination. Shame on him. I'll probably give it an "R" rating.
ReplyDelete..
I love the two takes. Skilfully handled :)
ReplyDeleteDearest Helen,
ReplyDeleteBoth versions are good!
Hugs,
Mariette
great contrast Helen to your palinode the image as seen through two very different lenses
ReplyDeleteA portrait of a bride from two angles: loved them both, Helen, each descriptive detail, each attitude, each adding up to a message delivered. Clever and beautiful poetry! ❤
ReplyDeleteFor me it paints the sad picture of a spunky lade being forced into a wedding... I just hope it will cease to happen.
ReplyDelete