Thursday, January 9, 2025

Point / Counterpoint

In the dverse poets pub, Laura presents us with a "Palinode form" challenge ~  two stanzas, one contradicting the other! 


The Old Year’s gone away to nothingness and night ~ John Clare, "The Old Year" 

1.

the old year disappears into nothingness

a fleeting shadow lost in time's relentless stream

its joy and laughter ~ gone with fading light

a ghostly trace of what once felt divine 

i mourn the past slipped from my grasp

each moment's glow dissolved with dawn's advance 

i clutch at yesterday ~ knowing it's a futile task

life moves forward in its ceaseless race

and time unbending offers not another chance 

 2.

but wait ~ what of the echoes in its wake

tender threads of memories gently spun

the old year lingers still with every step i take

a bridge of gold beneath the setting sun

it whispers truth ~ my guide along the path unknown

its painful losses teach ~ joys still light my sky

last year has not left ~ though shadows it did spread 

it shaped me ~ offered hope for this brand new year

for gifts unseen ~ gifts that never die 



13 comments:

  1. I love your sad opening and then your hopeful recovery. Well done Helen.

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  2. Very nicely done, Helen. I love the lines:

    ‘i mourn the past slipped from my grasp
    each moment's glow dissolved with dawn's advance’

    and the reminder of continuity in the lines:

    ‘tender threads of memories gently spun
    the old year lingers still with every step i take’.

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  3. Helen this is a charming Palinode - full of contrary feelings for what has been and what remains and what will be. A beautiful read.

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  4. I see so little positive for the new year... but maybe it has to get even worse before it gets better.

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  5. Beautiful palinode. I too loved this line; mourn the past slipped from my grasp
    each moment's glow dissolved with dawn's advance’ lovely.

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  6. Georgina at navasolanature. This is very much a turning of the year reflection with memory and then hope. I love your rhyming as it just fits in and allows the poem’s ideas and emotions to flow.

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  7. What a beautiful palinode, Helen! I love hope threaded through the second stanza. We live in hope.

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  8. This is beautiful, Helen! I love that you recognize that we build upon our past, not shed it completely.

    Yvette M Calleiro :-)
    http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com

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  9. This poem has a beautiful flow to it, and of course, a positive ending.

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  10. Some absolutely stunning moments almost casually hidden in a verse that almost let's the past slip through it's fingers before discovering it has shaped the writer. Helen you are a true poet, who here has toyed with the reader, before putting him/her down again gently, and washing your finger at them again...next time, one feels, you might not let them off softly...! As blogspot insists I am Anon, then Ain I shall remain...

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  11. Such a beautiful melody of thoughts, Helen, the song of loss and contrapuntal music of hope. Beautifully composed.

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I appreciate each of you and the comments you leave ~~ thanks so much.