Laura is tending bar in the dVerse Poets Pub ~ we are enticed to compose a poem in the Parallelogram de Crystalline form created by Karan Naidu
The theme: beauty of a real or imaginary lover compared with images of nature
Tornado
You touched me like the wind
Brief pause before black skies split apart
Breath, taste, touch
Your hands moved like weather
Tingling leaves before the wind takes them
Forever
wrapped 'round each other's hearts
Claiming every corner of the calm
All storms end
When you left .. quietness
Standing barefoot in the aftermath
Well done, Helen! Not sure I can tackle this form, but you totally did!
ReplyDeleteso much passion in this that the ending hits hard with the calm as an absence after the storm
ReplyDeleteInteresting form. It's hard to comment on love poems since everyone has different taste, but hey, I'm the first to comment for once!
ReplyDeletePris cilla King
Beautifully written, Helen.
ReplyDeleteHow you brought it to an end so beautifully, Helen! Love that last stanza in particular.
ReplyDeleteNot for the first time Helen, you have written beautifully, strongly, about love, this form has brought forth a passionate view of a relationship...
ReplyDeleteLove that ending though sad..
ReplyDeleteBeautifully sad ending. You used the form perfectly.
ReplyDeleteI love the layout of your poem, Helen, the stanzas like lovers facing each other, and the whole weather theme really appealed to me. I especially love the anticipation of the ‘brief pause before black skies split apart’ and the ending made me gasp.
ReplyDeletePassion like this is felt, I really like lines that can make me draw my breath...the 2nd stanza....lovely! But the 4th a wonderful, calming closing...entrancing experience, the verse itself a whirlwind in format, intense, that that peaceful ending with myriad of feelings.-Ain
ReplyDelete