Mish is hosting Poetics in the dVerse Poets Pub ~ 'tis the season of scary stuff ~ Mish provided us with ten lines from really scary films ~ we are to choose one, make it the first line of our poem!!!
Ben Willis, I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
I know what you did last summer
you were barefoot on his porch
his laughter in your hair
your shadow tangled with his on the beach
where he once swore 'forever' to me
I can see it now
lazy afternoons stitched with deceit
lips rehearsing for your return
when you would look at me and exclaim
"I've missed you so much, Roomie"
When reality walks into the room
It hums, trembles, cuts
I don't need your reasons
there are none that fit the
shape of what you broke
That kind of deceit is hard to forgive, Helen. I love the lines:
ReplyDelete‘his laughter in your hair
your shadow tangled with his on the beach’.
Oh Helen, this is powerful, relatable to many and the last line packs a punch!
ReplyDeleteOh... what a terrible deceit. The worst possible.
ReplyDeleteA betrayal poem at its best.
ReplyDeletea broken heart, broken into so many pieces
ReplyDeleteWhat a JERK, to hurt a lovely person like you, Helen. The charmers can be the worst.
ReplyDeleteOhhh... I can feel the tension building in this one. Glad I am not the one on the recieving end! Well done, Helen.
ReplyDelete"his laughter in your hair
ReplyDeleteyour shadow tangled with his on the beach"
Stupendous lines and such a great write on the deceit of the worst kind!
This is so good, Helen. Such deceit--I can feel it! I really love, "his laughter in your hair"--what a great line!
ReplyDeleteTold just perfectly, Helen. I especially love your close.
ReplyDelete“lazy afternoons stitched with deceit” hits hard, Helen — the quiet bitterness in that line really stays with me.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
David
SkepticsKaddish.com
Very emotional
ReplyDelete