Virgo Woman

Illustration by Natalie Krim 

Virgo Rule #1 ~ never date a Virgo man, his quirks are your quirks! Those Libra smiles? Lethal weapons ~ and should be outlawed. I had a few Taurus crushes in high school, they were bullies ~ NOT GOING THERE! Geminis? Hard to ignore their evil (twin) alter egos. Aquarius ~ the intellectual I worshiped from afar, a college prof ~ later learned he enjoyed platonic relationships, a bit eccentric.  The Leo, loved by everyone and vice versa. He left me! Pisces, the equivalent of dating a phantom. Wishy-washy, quite elusive. Cancers, ruled by the moon ~ and prone to mood swings. In their defense, they seem quite protective of the women they love. Sagittarius, wild child of the zodiac, I was exhausted after three months. Motorcycle rides, zip lining, grueling runs, marathon tennis, I needed to enjoy life ~ preferably in one piece!  My Aries fling? Oh, he was devastatingly cute and quite brilliant, way, way too young. They say Scorpios are great to have by your side during times of trouble. I had no dire premonitions, I passed.  Ah, finally The Capricorn ~ sexy, fun, talented, tolerant, generous, athletic, loving, ambitious, a soulmate, SIGH ~ the one who got away.  The end.